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Is there someone else? Like, be honest with me. Cause you’ve been so distant from me. Has someone else caught your attention? Please tell me now, so I know whether or not to stop trying. I know I’m not just absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I’m pretty ugly actually. But, have I not been good to you? I gave you a healthy, fat, handsome baby. Is that not enough? Do I need to stop eating completely, lose all the disgusting fat I call a body? Do I need to go get hair extensions, to grow my hair out again? Do I need to wear makeup all the time so you’ll actually enjoy looking at me? Please tell me, what do I need to do so I can get your attention again.
So much just going through my mind. How much of a fuck can you be? For real.
I hate it, cause I don’t have anyone to talk to. Not even my own husband. He’s always off doing something. Or sleeping.
I truly just feel…like I don’t even need to be here right now.
I miss the person I used to be. Before I got my heart broken, before I lost someone, before my family fell apart. I used to be filled with happiness & love. Now I’m just filled with anger & regret. I’m angry at how I’m treated by others, getting thrown to the side. I regret letting people in, who just proved why I shouldn’t trust. I’m a angry at myself because I’m still trying to forgive people who I should hate, but I don’t. Life took me & literally dragged me through dirt. I have fake people, trying to “be there” for me. Y'all weren’t there when I was on my feet, so don’t try to make yourself look good trying to be there while I struggle. I don’t want any of y'all contacting me. Shit I’ve had dogs more loyal then half of y'all. Quit messaging me because you think “I need help.” I got me. That’s all I need. ✌🏻️
I am fucking gold but you prefer silver and that’s ok.
(via bl-ossomed)